i define my life :)))

2009-04-29T10:52:00.002+08:00

Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone

I'll be waiting all there's left to do is run

You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess

It's a love story baby just say yes...

i should be study... but oh well, whatever. haha. so looking to winter break! i know its a little early to say this. but im really excited about the trip to melbourne. woohoo. i want a holiday. real holiday.

2009-04-03T14:30:00.003+08:00

i just love how sometimes when things dont turn out the way i wanted, i get upset over it for half a day and i move on with a smile :)

well, didn't managed to get my choice of coursework for year three. so i will have to complete ILP (some kind of research project) in my third year before commencing coursework in year four. one sad thing is that most people i hang out with are doing coursework in year three! oh well, looking on the brighter side of life, my lovely housemates are with me. still. honestly, i have no idea if thats really a good idea. haha :D

okay and now is the time to vex over what project to take up! arggh. sent emails out to a couple of supervisor, i hope they will consider my invitation. hmmm... thinking of looking into paediatric/child health, definitely on the clinical side. i totally cannot survive in labs for a good whole year! i don like mould growing on me :)

and yea, im so happy to receive a card from dear huiwen! haha. waiting for the other parcels on the way... so excited. there should have a couple more coming... :D aint i lucky? im fat but my friends love me still :))

2009-03-24T23:10:00.002+08:00

woah. its been more than 3 months since the last update! well, i guess i have no excuse for that. i have been really really lazy.

lets see, lots of things happened in the past 3 months. i can't believe a quarter of 2009 is over!

hmm... vietnam trip was fantastic. guess i wont post the photos here. we took far too many photos to be uploaded. haha. it was a great chance for me to get to know yanni, michael, rahul and tran more. i guess, we are all still growing and learning from one another. a fabulous experience indeed!

yea, alot of people moved onto blenheim street! yaye! and we are having a great time hanging out together :))

today's my birthday. happy birthday to me :)

had a 'surprise' birthday party on sunday at centennial park. it wasnt exactly a surprise in the end... but well, i still enjoyed myself alot! and im sure everyone that came had fun too. thank you to all who bothered to come... those that brought food and the card... and the kite... haha. thank you so much to beloved housemates/family/household or whatever you call it. hahahaha. mike and rahul rocks! of course tran too :)) haha. project photosynthesis was a success! oh, by the way that was the name for the secret birthday mission. hahaha. and some of them actually followed mike and rahul's instruction to wear green! so sporty! thank you so much people :) i really had fun.

yea... and well i didnt get a real surprise on sunday, i got one just now! haha. with mike trying to convince me that there's some problem with the toilet, i reluctantly moved out of my room and ta dah! i see people and cake and sparklers and flowers and bak choy (xiao bai cai) and grins and birthday song! hahahaha. i was so touched. actually wanted to sleep earlier... cos counting down to birthday sounded kindof weird to me... but stayed up cos was skype-ing with my friend... and then comes my surprise :) well, i don exactly like flowers or gardens... but i love the feeling of receiving a bouquet of flowers! ''i thought now no boyfriend means no flowers already!" haha that was what i exclaimed to tran when i saw the flowers! haha

well... and i broke my golden rule of eating in the middle of the night! haha. but it was worth it! the cake tasted superb... especially to be eating with the beloved blenheimers plus tran! awwwww... so sweet :) ahhh there goes my calories... hohoho. the present was a big surprise too. gym membership! oh my goooosh. thank you people.. i promise i will be hardworking in working out! :) i am not going to be fat anymore. hahaha

im twenty one. finally. im not sure if i have been looking forward to this day. but i dont feel exceptionally excited about it. its just another year. another birthday. but this time its memorable. when you have no expectations, thats when you derive the most joy and happiness... i thought i will spend a quiet birthday with no big parties or many presents... im really glad that i have this group of friends around me. and yea, especially my mike and rahul! there are times where i really feel like strangling them and jump out of the balcony myself... haha. but i guess theres no way i can deny that they brought me lots of laughter and comfort! enjoy crapping with them, seeing them talk nonsense which i can never catch, sharing hilarious incidents with them, telling them about the cute girl/guy i met, teasing one another about random stuff... well, i will love them more if they can take more initiative to do housework... haha :D

twenty one. twenty one. twenty one :))

2008-12-19T23:00:00.003+08:00

alright. after being missing in action for such a long time, i am back again. not exactly in a good mood to blog though. will be leaving for hongkong tomorrow and should be away for 2 weeks or so. other than looking forward to indulging in good food and shopping, i was extremely excited about spending time with my family and loved ones, especially my dog. well, it has always been the reason why i want to visit hongkong almost every holiday. i guess now i have one less motivation to go back during hols. i received the phone call i dreaded the most. i miss her so much. i really do.

"why didn't she wait for me to go back? it's just one more day..."

"maybe she didn't want you to be upset and send her off in tears..."

thank you for spending 18 years with me. i love you.

2008-11-15T05:38:00.002+08:00

haven posted photos of food for quite some time :))

baked strawberry cheesecake for last bible study session yesterday. well, I really got to thank God for placing me in this group... getting to know each and every one of them. It's really sad that we have to change groups next year... but i guess it will be a good chance for us to move our of our comfort zone and venture into the unknown.

will be going a road trip over the weekend. pray that the weather will be bright and sunny!

somehow im hesitant to go home...

2008-11-10T13:08:00.002+08:00

Isaiah 1:18

"Come now, let us reason together," says the Lord.

"Though your sins are like scarlet,

they shall be as white as snow;

though they are red as crimson,

they shall be like wool"

Nothing stains as badly as sin. Not only our hearts, but also leaving a residue in our minds. But by God's grace, i am forgiven. He not only forgives me, he forgets the sins and banishes them. I guess I should learn to forgive myself too. It's time that guilt be taken away so that He can fill my heart with faith.

---

Yaye! 11 more days and I will be HOME! haha. simply can't wait for it! and I am seriously SERIOUSLY distracted from revision... argh. who cares about exams. I will just make sure I don't fail it. hehe :))

2008-11-06T17:23:00.002+08:00

GOD LOVES ME :))

read this in the devotions for today. kind of a continuation of the entry i posted yesterday. His unfailing love.

Psalms 136

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good.

His love endures forever

Give thanks to the God of gods.

His love endures forever

Give thanks to the Lord of lords

His love endures forever

to him who alone does great wonders

His love endures forever

who by his understanding made the heavens

His love endures forever

who spread out the earth upon the waters

His love endures forever

the sun to govern the day

His love endures forever

the moon and stars to govern the night

His love endures forever

to him who struck down the firstborn of Egypt

His love endures forever

and brought Israel through the midst of it

His love endures forever

but swept Pharaoh and his army into the Red Sea

His love endures forever

to him who led his people through the desert

His love endures forever

who struck down great kings

His love endures forever

and killed mighty kings

His love endures forever

Sihon king of the Amorites

His love endures forever

and Og king of Bashan

His love endures forever

and gave their land as an inheritance

His love endures forever

to the One who remembered us in our low estate

His love endures forever

and freed us from our enemies

His love endures forever

and who gives food to every creature

His love endures forever

Give thanks to the God of heaven

His love endures forever

Give thanks to the God of heaven

His love endures forever

while typing this chapter, i read this once more... repeated 'His love endures forever' 26 times... how real, how true, how comforting... :))

2008-11-05T15:01:00.005+08:00

Romans 8:38
For i am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor heights, nor depth, nor any other created thing will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Trusting an unchanging God. How frequently mentioned by pastors, friends and in sermons yet more often than not, we are all guilty of losing our faith in Him. It is so easy to fall short of the trust we ought to have in Him. Think about it, when things seem to go wrong and when the going gets tough, we start to wonder if God really loves us and doubt his sovereignty over us. Somehow we forgot that we are mere figures living in the temporary, part of the transient, part of the mist... and the only One and unchanging one in our lives is Him. None of the things we have now will last... not the sturdiest houses, nor the guaranteed-money-back furnitures. not even the tonnes of money that can buy you anything under the sun... But i am sure God's love will. For it has not wavered or changed even once. Let's keep trusting in Him and continue strengthening our faith... for the best is yet to come.

Yes. For the best is yet to come...

2008-10-30T05:35:00.002+08:00

my comfort food :))

yaye. 3 more weeks to going home! i am seriously so excited. i keep thinking of what to do when i am back in singapore. haha. and that results in a loss of concentration in revision. haha. hmm. time flies. one more week of lessons and it's the end of first year! not too bad. five more years to go. haha. i guess thats how all the med kids keep ourselves positive :))

counting down.

2008-10-18T17:56:00.007+08:00

happy birthday nguyen tran tu tran! :)) we love you lots!

:) we had dinner at sydney tower. the view was fabulous! wanted to take lots of photo with the awesome sunset. but tran's camera ran out of batt! arggh.. that was so intelligent huh... well, we still managed to get the birthday girl and the beautiful sunset :)

2008-09-17T09:38:00.002+08:00

haha. i miss ang ku kueh from bukit timah.. i decided to make them myself! hahaha :D yummy!

2008-09-07T17:34:00.002+08:00

mochi making! :)) haha it was so random. but what a nice time to be making mochi with the 2 of them! haha. family bonding time... haha.

hmm. i still want to make my ang ku kueh next time. wait till i find my banana leaves... hmmm

2008-08-24T19:27:00.002+08:00

i completed one side of my bear! haha. this is so cute right :)) don't ask me why the head is square... its the design. but well, it wont look this square once i sew it up! yeah i am halfway through the other side of the bear. so happy! it should be done next week. haha

just got some good news from cheryl. i am so happy for her :D haha. shhhhh its a girl thing. haha. school has been busy. just completed my assignment and i am going to submit it now. so that i can a good night sleep later. haha. i am pretty glad that this teaching period is ending soon. it means there's only one more to go before i go home! :) yaye.

2008-08-17T06:38:00.002+08:00

haha i am knitting a bear for the redcross! so happy that i finally learn how to knit :) yupp. this bears are called trauma teddies. they are not sold but given to kids in the hospital! i hope the kid will love the teddy i made :))

2008-08-09T16:52:00.003+08:00

its national day! :) and i baked a birthday cake for singapore! haha. majulah singapura

yeah and we had a national day picnic. got together and had some singapore style food :) well my family made prata and dou hua (beancurd) and the birthday cake! haha. kevin's curry complemented our prata very well too. oh and we finally played ultimate frisbee! after so so long... not that it's not cold.. but it just feels good to run around in the sun :))

watched the olympics opening last night. well, i have to say it was absolutely amazing. really impressed with all the human formation thingy and the effects. we stayed up till 2plus in the morning to see the singapore contingent la. haha. i wait until i feel like crying lo. i was so so tired already. and the team merely zoomed pass the tv! oh goodness.

okay as a result of my lack of sleep from last night, and waking up early to prepare the food for the picnic today, i am really really exhausted. im practically typing with my eyes closed. haha. yeah. another picnic tomorrow. im so busy. haha

i miss home badly

2008-07-27T19:13:00.005+08:00

haha i am so so so happy with my roasted pork! haha. they look pretty decent right? :)) home made 烧肉by ade! :D i finally get to eat them after 4 months! those outside are really expensive so i decided to make it myself. haha. michael loves 烧肉too! yaye!

well. but the skin was a little too hard. or i should say too crispy. haha but well. it taste fantastic!

http://bp0.blogger.com/_j748xGOzld0/SIBhttp://bp0.blogger.com/_j748xGOzld0/SIBGJM6iicI/AAAAAAAAAGk/AGJM6iicI/AAAAAAAAAGk/AXRH-PQhQ2s/s320/DSCF1906.JPG

2008-07-18T15:24:00.004+08:00

school is starting in a few days time! yaye cos i can see my friends and not have nothing to do all day long. boo cos i have assignments and projects again?!?! haha well well. this is life :)

chocolate banana cake i baked few days ago..

cupcakes for joyce's birthday :))

2008-07-09T13:26:00.003+08:00

haha updating some random photos...

i just made timtams truffles! yummy :))

that's kevin, our master chef!

steamboat dinner after exams! woohoo

2008-07-05T00:32:00.005+08:00

this is super random. but i am seriously bored and decided to post this. rahul taught me this. and i am utterly amazed! :D please try it. i simply enjoy it. hahahhaa. the amazing timtams experience. new art of timtams appreciation :))

oh well. i cut my hair! so i am back to the short hair. love it :) refreshed!

2008-06-28T14:10:00.003+08:00

oops. i realise i have neglected this blog for a long time... exams ended 2 days ago. and i've got 3 weeks of holidays. tried to find a job but till to no avail. okay, i will keep trying... i feel more secure spending money if i know i am making money. haha. almost all the fellow year 1 meds are going back to singapore. hmm.. so left a couple of us staying. lonely! nevermind. i will make the best out of it. thinking of going to melbourne or tasmania for backpacking. haha. still thinking about it.

ohh i think i didnt mention my new house! i moved into a new apartment

with mike and rahul around 3 weeks ago. now i leave right opposite the hospital and just a couple of steps to school :) well best of all, i moved out of the unhappy, gloomy and evil place! hahahahahhaa. here are some photos of the new place :) oh we had a housewarming party too. it was really fun to have everyone mingling around and eating and playing. we had steamboat here with a couple of close friends. it felt so good.

pizza we made ourselves from scratch! an amazing piece of work by kevin! it taste really good :)

2008-04-27T19:02:00.003+08:00

tried frying noodles yesterday. added beef, capsicum, carrots and mushrooms. hmm its quite alright but i dont really like the noodles i used. they call it 'singapore noodles'.. haha bought it cos chow mein (which means fried noodles) was out of stock. i didnt know singapore came up with our own noodles. haha weird. next time shall try it with chow mein, think it will be better :))

went to chinatown last night and collected stuff from mom's colleague. yaye! i've got stuff from home again :)) its quite alot of things. haha i think at this rate of transporting items from home, i will have a very hard time when i move... oh mom bought this pair of comfy slippers for me

. haha its so cute! and ITS REALLY WARM!

have got an exam tomorrow and i am so sick of studying already. essentially i dont feel any stress cos its not taken into account at all. but well, i dont want to feel stupid when i am attempting the questions, so it still make some sense to study for it :))

2008-04-22T17:55:00.002+08:00

i am finally updating this blog with a positive mood. haha have been emotionally quite stable for some time already :)) so no worries. finally completed my individual and group assignment for this teaching period. phew. but the next two are coming in 2 weeks time. arggh. never mind. meanwhile i should enjoy some free time. preparing for my first exam which is going to be next week. well, no much stress cos this grade will not be taken into account! woohoo thats definitely a good news. but sadly, it simple means no motivation. haha. okay. i should be more disciplined and motivate myself. how can i let myself be controlled by such lifeless things? yeah :))

looking forward to my parcel arriving next week! yaye! its from mommy again. with all the winter stuff. received quite a few parcels already. and i am seriously very happy. first was mom, then chaorong, next buddy and then my favourite group of people (you know who you are, lazy to type the names.. hahahaha) i discovered a new fetish of mine! to receive parcels! hahaha. i dont really care what is it inside cos i just like the feeling of receiving something from home, from people that loves me, from people that care! hahaha. okay cheap thrill :D

recently started apartment searching with a couple of my friends. intend to move to somewhere near school with them. think it will be more convenient and cost effective that way. but have yet to find somewhere that we really like. nevermind.. no hurry. i dont want to rush into it and settle for something we dont like. hmm since we are going to stay there for quite some time..

have been cooking for myself for the past 2 months... tried fried rice, pasta, whipped potato, rostis, sandwiches, salads, instant noodles, cheesecakes, soups, stir fry vegetables, porridge, pancakes, french toast, omelette... hmm should think of more thing to cook. its a good way of releasing stress. haha. next week i shall cook beef noodles and barley ginko nut dessert. haha exciting :))

okay i better go get some dinner and then back to my books. haha.

2008-04-07T11:08:00.004+08:00

i haven been updating this blog. really sorry guys. especially to those that kept reminding me to update!

why is it that i have to update now when i am feeling like shite? arrgh. im really getting emotional nowadays. i have never cried this much when i was in singapore. maybe cos im away from home and family and good friends, little screw ups just get on my nerves.. talking to besties make me tear, whining to mom just makes me feeling even more homesick.

this is such a sad entry. i simply dont feel like writing. or doing anything :( please let me get over this soon. get out of this mode. i dont like it at all.

dinner last night. feel like a cow. moo~

2008-02-24T17:53:00.015+08:00

okay as promised, photos are up :)) here are some of them that i took over the past few days. currently i still feel very much like a tourist, taking photos here and there. i guess when mom leaves, i will settle down for real and learn to be a good student. hahahhaaha

this is the train. double decker. its super cool but very very slow too. not very efficient i have to say. haha

okay sydney opera house. took this photo on the ferry
this is manly beach. very nice place :) love the sunny sun

this is my new school!

faculty of medicine!
lots of grass patches in school. heard that students actually hang around on these fields during their break! woohoo

this is the house i will be staying for the next 2 sem! my room is pretty good now after a make-over! :))

okay stocking up food in my cupboard. hehe guess i will depend on them most of the time.

lastly, a photo of mummy and me :) thanks to her that i can get my room done up and things settled so quickly!

2008-02-22T14:44:00.002+08:00

well well. finally i get to sit down quietly and update this blog! i am in sydney right now, feeling a little tired after the whole day of walking around campus and attending talks. first day in sydney was quite a bad one. almost everything went wrong! the flight was delayed, i hardly catch any sleep throughout the flight, arrived in sydney late as well. then whats worse when we exit from the customs and couldnt locate dad's friend, oh yah and mom's hp was not working as well! oh man.. by then i was already in a bad mood.. feeling upset enough with all the farewell and have to handle such unlucky incidents... arriving at my place was another shock. it didnt turn out to be what the landlord described to us in the email (feel alittle cheated actually). the room is pretty spacious. but it was old and dusty. landlord was nice enough to arrange a queen bed for me. but here's another problem. i prepared bedsheets for single bed! uh huh.. i was really super sian diao by then. spent the whole day cleaning up the room... shopping for necessities like tolietries, cutleries, bedsheets linens and laundry needs...

well. my room is pretty decent now. with some photos on my desk and stuffs unpacked. feels alittle more personal. haha. but i still need to get some cloth and make a curtain. DIY! haha. save money :)) and need to get a mirror. there's no mirror in the toilet. so i need one my room or else i will look super chiu when i go school! haha. probably have to get some containers/tupperwares and stationary boxes for organising my working area and my stockup food.

i shall go for a morning run tmr before going to chinatown to take a look and shop around. i desperately need to exercise! ohh. found the swimming pool in campus today. but im really sad to know that admission isnt free! $32 for 10 visits. ahhhhhh. and i dont see any other public pools around :((

generally people here walk alot. and when i say alot, it really means ALOT! cos i love to walk but sometimes i still find it tiring to walk this much here. hahaha well.. its pretty alright if you dont have to carry heavy groceries and stuff with you. love the sun and the cool breeze! it definitely feels great! oh yah. and my place is near the beach :)) woohoo. can go suntan as and when i like. school is near the coogee beach as well. hahaha beaches everywhere!

i will try to upload some photos as soon as possible. probably after touring the city area and chinatown this weekend. mom is going to leave in a few days time. guess its time i get used to moving around on my own and doing my own grocery shopping. hmm i am quite confident of surviving here alone actually :)) but will probably take short cuts here and there. haha

6289 kilometres away from home.

2008-02-10T12:07:00.000+08:00

sentosa outing with my favourite group of friends yesterday was FABULOUS! haha i had a super duper great time with them, playing frisbee and volleyball, eating and chatting, taking random photos... oh mannn i was really happy :)) after that met up with bee ngoh for a concert at night. and know what, i started crying in her car after parting with my besties. oh my goodness. i think i freaked her out... okay i was kindof freaked out too.. i was telling her how happy i was and i bursted into tears! hahahaha shame shame.. i will miss them alot alot alot alot. its such a pity that we cant spend our final teenage years together and we will be missing out part of one another's growing up years... i hope to be there for them, hope to share my joy and sorrow with them, hope to organise last minute random outings.. argghh. i dont like this kind of feeling. counting down to the day of departure is so dreadful.

perhaps perhaps perhaps... its really time to move on

2008-02-07T01:08:00.000+08:00

i took a look at my previous post and realise its been exactly a month since i last updated the blog. hmm.. was quite caught up with stuff and i guess its partly due to my laziness as well. haha. its chinese new year again! my favourite festival of the year and im so glad that i get to spend this CNY in singapore with my family and friends before i leave for australia.. it suddenly dawn on me that i have only got less than 2 weeks left! haha. its amazing how the day i have been looking forward to is finally here. and when its here, i somehow do feel a little lost and insecure? ermmm perhaps im thinking too much. oh well... what will be, will be. its pretty pointless to dwell too much into it. i hope i made the right decision to pursue my studies overseas, i hope i will be mentally and emotionally strong enough to handle matters on my own in the future, i hope my family will not have to worry about whether i have enough food for lunch or money to spend, or time to rest... arrghh. is this what people call the pre-departure syndrome or something? hahahahhahaha. i am like so paranoid can... :((

okay. its time to move on.

2008-01-07T13:06:00.000+08:00

hmm. 2008 has been great so far! haha. have been indulging myself with play and good food since i came back from india. oh well. its time i start getting down to work. seems like i have got alot of things to do! hmm lazy lazy lazy... :D and i got alot of things to buy! haha i need to go on a shopping spree soon. yippie! and mommy is coming home tmr! i can finally get to see her after one month.

watched beauty world at the esplanade theatre last saturday. it was great! enjoyed the show alot, love the songs but i thought the singing could have been better? hmm.. okay lets not be too picky. overall its still a good show to watch la. local productions are always close to heart :))

2007-12-31T14:56:00.001+08:00

i miss the smell of spices everywhere

i miss waking up to find xiujing and bee ngoh by my side

i miss snuggling into the sleeping bag late at night, feeling chilly despite the many layers of clothes and blankets

i miss having to carry pails and basins to collect warm water for bathing before it runs out

i miss the facebook way of talking... snorts and turns away... slap you 10 times... roll my eyes 10 times...

i miss annie taking out her watch when one of the kids said 'one minute please'

i miss having to pray silently in our hearts that there will be meat in our meals that day

i miss not having to worry about what time, what date, which day is it..

i miss squeezing at the backseats of the small bus with the other 5 gals

i miss pastor george and israel, who never fail to touch me with his sweet gestures

i miss j.r and family and the marvelous sri lankan meal that they whipped up for us

2007-12-30T23:51:00.000+08:00

HOME-D! haha. i am back from india :)) the trip was pretty fine though it would be better if i didnt fall sick and wasted the first few days! urrrgh sian diao. but nevermind, i made the best out of whatever i have and im really happy with myself. managed to do some self reflection here and there, got alittle inspired by the selfless attitude and spirit of serving that our partner children homes have. i was terribly awed. it is difficult to give away something you like very much, but it is even harder to give away something you have. and when you are able to do it with a smile and sense of satisfaction, you know you are ready to love and share. made great friends during the trip and i hope we will try to keep in touch with one another. i have also learnt alot from my teammates during the trip, some lessons that i will want to take it with me for the rest of my life.

went out with bee today. a day well spent! really happy cos we accomplished alot of things today, which was quite impressive :)) now im in love with a song from an old local musical chang & eng. super duper nice lo! hahaha love it to bits. its keeps replaying on the computer!! hahahha pure addiction. oh i managed to get a new pair of sports shoes today too! with help of an expert, yaye! i can finally run and hop and play with ease.

hmm. im pretty screwed up now cos i cant secure any accomodation in australia yet! urrgh. the hostel send a letter and say they don have sufficient rooms so i have to be placed on the waiting list. the student apartments have yet to reply me (thats like 4 months after i applied!!!) now im looking into homestay or private rental lo. sian diao. its like such torture to settle the problem of housing lo.

its the end of the year. time really flies. 2007 has been a very fulfiling year for me i guess. theres been quite a number of ups and downs. i fell and i got up again. i teared and i made others tear. i played and i brought others laughter. i smiled and i hope to continue smiling. i think i ended my year in a very good way by joining the expedition to india. it may not be the best trip you can ever have, but it was definitely a memorable one. thank you my teammates for the 2 weeks in india, thank you my family for the love and support all this while, thank you my friends for the laughter and joy we shared. 2008 will be a better year :)

2007-12-05T23:06:00.000+08:00

haha. after procrastinating for such a long time, i finally get down to baking again on monday! :)) haha i simply love that smeeeeelll.

1 oreo cupcake

many oreo cupcakes!

cookies cooling on the tray!

then yesterday went nus for a tour + visiting :)) haha. my beloved buddy was my tour guide of the day! tried the indo food and niang dou fu at faculty of engineering. hmm.. it was quite good! thumbs up. ohh and its really cheap! haha i miss cheap and good canteen food. too bad we didnt get to try food from arts fac and faculty of business. next time next time.

was really glad that i met jaslyn and joycelyn. well.. its been a super duper long time since i last saw them. they are still pretty much the same :)) went for a hair cut with buddy aka ah long and jas at far east. we made ah long change his hairstyle and colour. it was seriously ugly when i saw him yesterday! at least he look more decent now, though still not very handsome. hahahahhaha :D after that we went for movies at plaza singapura. enchanted. i think its quite a good movie! hilarious and engaging (except for the first 15minutes? it was too dry!) long time since i last had a such a good laugh :)) chatting with the 2 of them makes me feel like im back to the good old rv days. haha. everything's so comfortable and familiar. haha. love it!

ohh and i realise my workplace is super duper near ah long's hall. now i can go nus more often! yaye!

i cant wait to get back to school :))

2007-12-02T19:42:00.000+08:00

well. met with my favourite group of people for breakfast/lunch at changi today and attended jooli's church service together after that. she invited us cos there was this guest speaker, nick vujicic. he was born without limbs and apparently after 25 years, there's still no scientific explanation for it. well, though the speech was largely religion related, i guess there are still some learning points and key ideas that are worth a deeper thought :)) circumstance vs me. sometimes i do find myself being controlled by circumstances and whine about how helpless or distressed i am. perhaps i should learn to take control of circumstances instead. i need to play a more active role in my life and not let myself get tied down by certain situations. yes, there are things that arent within our control. but there is bound to be things thats we can change or make use of. the main lead of my life is me. and i know i am going to put up a wonderful show :)) it was definitely inspiring and touching to be one of those on the floor. i guess alot of them from fcbc invited their friends to attend this session cos the hall was packed with people! there were quite a number of teenagers and young adults, which i thought was a good sign! sometimes i do feel that the younger generation is pretty deprived of some 'spiritual feeds'. hahaha :D hmm.. guess it was a fulfilling day spent.

im grateful for...

a yummilicious breakfast/lunch with my favourite group of people :))

the chance to attend an inspiring talk by nick vujicic (thank you jooli!)

my friends planning to send me off at the airport to india next next sun (its okay even if they don turn up eventually! its the thought that counts)

the nice sunny weather today

my parents staying at home tonight to keep me company while sis is away! (though its more like me entertaining them.. haha)

2007-11-30T12:03:00.001+08:00

came across this little exercise in one of the chapters of the book that im reading currently. find it very meaningful :)) its the grateful journal. make it a point to list down 5 things that happened each day that you are grateful for. what it will begin to do is change your perspective of your day and your life. if you learn to focus on what you have, you will always see that the universe is abundant; you will have more. if you concentrate on what you dont have; you will never have enough. oh well. this is so true! start keeping a grateful journal too! we are often too unwilling to express our gratitude towards people and things. probably its due to the selfish pride that lies in many of us. expressing gratitude continually will help to break this kind of pride! :)

im grateful for...
the simple breakfast with dad at one of the old coffeeshops we used to visit when i was young
a good working partner today! hwee tian was really a great help at work
the polite and easy going patients i served today :)
the fine weather... the sun is pretty and its not raining!
the short working hours today such that i can get home in time to cook dinner with grandma :D

2007-11-28T21:09:00.000+08:00

persistance is stubborness with a purpose

how true! call me stubborn then. im pretty proud of it :)) okayy now im keeping my fingers crossed, praying that i will get a space at newcollege (thats one of the hostels at unsw) haha. poor me. i still haven secure any accommodation until now.. and my parents have been screaming at me about it!!

hmm. life has been quite relaxing for the past week. i have reduced my working hours tremendously! for example, i am only working 15.5 hours for his week! hahahhahahha. i wonder how did i spend my spare time.. haha. well i am reading alot now... at least thats something worth giving up work for :D currently on a book talent is never enough by john c. maxwell. its quite a good book, with a familiar style of writing (i read another of his books last month - winning with people) ideas and issues are nicely arranged and simple enough for understanding! love it to bits :))

my sis is leaving for hk and hokkaido this sat. urrgh. im suppose to go hk with her but the SQ flight is so full that i have been on the waiting list for a month and still no news of any cancellations! sad. i am really craving for good hongkong food. nevermind. january then. bear with the cravings for another month. haha. india trip is nearing. lets hope it will turn out well! heard that its going to be very cold over there! urrgh. i guess i am going to bathe only once a week? haha. i cant imagine bathing in cold water at minus zero degrees :X

2007-11-23T18:00:00.000+08:00

has been quite caught up with alot of things for the week. had to arrange for medical checkup at SATA for visa application, book appointments for mom and myself for treatments, planning for upcoming visit to moral welfare home, searching for potential sponsors for the india project and settling all the miscellanous stuff... thats on top of my usual work at the clinic! urrgh. i havent been using emails like how i do now. i get like tonnes and tonnes of mails from everyone and i send millions and millions of mails to everyone. haha. but it really save alot of my smses. hehe :))

innotrek renewal camp is coming up! woohoo. hope to go for the first 2 days of the camp. would be lovely if i can meet my long lost fellow campers! im looking forward to it. jooli please be able to make it! i dont want to feel lonely :(

got prata supper tonight! woohoo. today is such a happy day! had my dose of peanut butter in the afternoon and a date fixed for monday too. yaye! haha. people date me ;) hahahhahahhahahhahhaaha i am not desperate huh. just awed by the friendliness of my friends :))

2007-11-17T10:03:00.000+08:00

oh well. i am so happy. jingsheng dropped me an email after reading my previous post and shared this thoughts with me. i shall not talk about what he said in the mail but i am really really happy. haha :)) i like friends that i can fool around and have fun with, but i even love friends that feel comfortable sharing their ideas and thoughts with. its really comforting for me. i do feel very much involved in their life and i believe its a privilege to be able to shape one another's life through the exchange. according to the lens principle, friends are one of the factors that determines who we are (thats in addition to genetics, past experiences and attitude towards experiences). i am proud that i somehow shaped the lives of my loved ones and grateful for the great impact they left on me. okayy. i am really happy after reading the mail. thanks jingsheng! i didnt know you are still reading my blog. haha

currently reading a book when you say yes but you mean no . its a quite a good book but i find it a little too dry for me. the arrangement is wayy too structured in my opinion and i just dont feel very involved in the book while reading. nonetheless i will try to complete the book. it has got some pretty useful ideas. okayy. i should get back to work. i am still searching for sponsors for the india trip. anyone got any company contacts? hmm. im really getting desperate. whats more when my logistic team is not reply my email!?!? arghh. in the end i drafted the letter myself -_-" well. ade is nice :))

2007-11-16T14:12:00.000+08:00

facebook is getting boring! haha i guess its because i haven been using alot of the applications in there. the part i really love about facebook is the availability of my friends photo albums for viewing. its like so much cool-er than friendster can. other than providing me with some form of entertainment, im regularly updated of whats happening in their lives! i miss those friends far far away in canada, us and uk. oh mann.

have been really lazy for the past few days cos i haven been running! oh dear. i need more self discipline to get myself out of the house and run. hmm. the lazy bugs in me have been really active i guess. india trip is brought forward to 16dec instead of 20dec due to some problems with the air tickets. and this means i will be back in singapore for countdown! oh well. i thought counting down on the plane will be fun though :))

was watching a chinese talkshow just shoot!3 last night. the topic was about the pros and cons of singaporeans venturing overseas in view of better prospects. okayy. personally i found it quite interesting and thought-provoking! though i will be leaving singapore to study (not for work as discussed in the show) overseas for 6 years, its pretty possible that by the time i complete my studies i would have decided to stay there to work as well. i dont really have an idea if i will return to singapore for practice cos i think its too early to make a decision right now. but there is definitely a possiblity that i will stay put in australia after graduation. in the talkshow, some people commented about how if they had a choice back then, they wouldnt have chosen to leave singapore to work overseas while some felt that the exposure they had overseas was indeed enriching. the struggles of having to maintain a strong family bond while working alone overseas and factors one have to consider when deciding to venture out or not, were also briefly discussed. its quite interesting to hear from people of different walks of life and see how people of different generations and genders respond to a particular situation. i guess being the younger generation, i am still very determined and passionate about living my dreams and gaining new experiences overseas. of course i do love my family and friends, the stability and prosperity of my country, the memories and experiences i had at home, but it just seems that there is far more out there awaiting my exploration. perhaps one day i will miss home and decide that singapore is the place i want to settle down for life, but i believe i wont regret my choice for venturing out today. in the first place, no one said that you cant return once you leave singapore! right right?!?

i think it also very much got to do with which stage of life you are at. if im married with two kids of pre-school age, i would probably think twice, maybe thrice before i actually decide to leave singapore for work/school. but if im a young and pretty 19 year old (just like me, hahahaha) who has got no heavy burdens, i dont think i will ever think twice about not going! its all about doing the right thing at the right time. i think its the same when we say meeting the right person at the right time.

some time ago, i read this article about a speech made by one of the female MPs (i dont quite remember her name though). she mentioned that instead of putting off family planning in order to concentrate on their career first, couples can actually set up a family before they actually have the rest of their life to work on their career. well... i find this quite true! people actually feel that family planning can wait till their career is established yet they neglect the fact that women have a fertility period which waits for no man! in this case, females can actually wait their their kids are old enough before they turn their attention to establishing career. by then there should be no hurry cos they have got the rest of their lives to work on it! haha. okayy thats provided you intend to retire at 85 la. hahahhahhaaa. i do wish to work till the day i physically or mentally can work no more :))

hmm. this entry has a confusing theme! hhahaa i jumped from topic to topic. oh well. who cares. im just sharing my thoughts :D

uuurrrghh

2007-11-10T18:21:00.000+08:00

yesterday was such an exciting day! for the first time in my life, I SCOOPED SHIT WITH MY HANDS!! woohoo. okayy... i was wearing gloves la.. but i am still very proud of myself! haha. thanks to one old ah pek who just chiong into my clinic, then lock himself in the treatment room and lao sai on the floor. WHAT THE?!?! then when he was done with his business, he stepped on his shit and walked all the way to the exit! oh my goooooodnesssss. everything just happened too quickly and i wasnt able to react in time! he wasnt a patient of the clinic.. he just dashed straight pass the counter and into the room. urrgh. then it was cleaning up time -_-" was pretty glad that dr lim helped me with the cleaning.. oh man. we put on the gloves and started wiping the whole place with toliet paper and newspaper.. it was damn smelly can. we used almost the whole can of air freshener lo.. haha it was super duper funny la. honestly speaking, i am quite impressed with the fact that dr lim volunteered to help clean the mess. hmm. though he is a pretty friendly boss and never put on airs in front of us, i was still quite shocked.. haha it took two of us thirty minutes to clean up the place. i mopped the floor like donno how many times and then disinfected my hands again and again. hahahaha. to think of it now, its actually quite exciting la :))

went down to idp to settle my visa and check out some stuff. then went for dimsum with family at mirama hotel. some dimsum buffet at the chinese restaurant. haha. chaorong was telling me about it few days back and happen my mom also heard about it from her colleagues. so we decided to give it a try. well.. the variety was quite limited and the food didnt taste very authentic. but the service was alright and considering its $14.80 ++ per pax on weekends (i think its only $11.80 ++ on weekdays), i think its reasonable la. lets not be too skeptical... :))

i baked cheesecake again. i tried to complete it by 5pm (i started at 2pm..) but i couldnt. so had to leave it to my mom to watch over it after i leave for work. lets hope mom dont burn them all. hahahaha. okayy i do have a little faith in my mom when it comes to baking... its 7.30pm and im still very full from the dimsum. hahahahaa :D

ohh yeah!!

2007-11-08T18:24:00.000+08:00

ohh yeah!! got a pleasant surprise from kohchaorong.. haha super duper nice of him to get me half a dozen of donuts and a book! i needed a book for company man.. bored to tears in clinic. haha. thats my good friend! whahahahahh. *proud laughhs* i need to control my diet! ate quite alot today... hmm.. and i wont get to exercise until saturday! ohh dear. sins.

okkayy i shall start my new book and get my fingers off the keyboard. mindless internet surfing kills brain cells. haha. i am serious.

2007-11-06T20:26:00.000+08:00

oh dear. heard from my counsellor that the student apartments which i have applied are very very high in demand and they've got no more vacancies! WHAT THE HELL !??! i applied like in august and they say there's no more places :(( whats more that they didn't even email me to tell me its full... i had to ask my counsellor to check it out for me. uuurgggh. i am dead. i still cant find a companion thats going to sydney and i have yet to secure any accomodation. not to mention the visa application as well... oh my goodness. i got so many things to settle.. plus the india trip is drawing near and im in the logistics team which have to oversee and ensure the smooth running of the whole expedition. haha. i need better time management! i am losing the high level of self discipline that i used to have :(( disappointing. okkay. buck up adeline!

dim sum crave!

2007-11-04T21:45:00.000+08:00

oh i finally satisfied my crave for dimsum today! hahahahaa a loooooooooooooong awaited yumcha session though i had ice lemon tea instead of chinese tea... chaorong is back from taiwan and i am nice enough to welcome him back with a yumcha session. crystal jade kitchen at hollandvillage was pretty good except the fact that all the waitresses are aunties! (okay thats what chaorong complained) ooohh and i have got presents from taiwan! hahahahaha yippie yaye! haven received presents for a long time. well well... mostly food la. he's just trying to make me fat so that he will appear slimmer. hehe. ulterior motive i bet. its nice getting to talk to him and share my thoughts about some stuff. got to see things from another perspective and he kindof reminded me of some important things. okkay will keep them in mind.

i saw buddy's tag! he is still alive! oh man... i thought he disappeared to donno where already la. haha i really need to meet up with him soon. so i wont feel so lonely :))

oh thank you all who bought a tshirt from me! :) i will try to get the stocks ready as soon as possible and will contact you all again.

a fine sunny saturday

2007-11-03T21:43:00.000+08:00

ohhh well. i slept only 2 hours last night! reached home at around 3am and i was alittle drunk. things are spinning like mad! the bed, the light switches, the doorknob and everything... oh mann it felt quite terrible cos i cant walk straight at all. luckily mom and dad didnt catch me in this state. haha. went kbox-ing with my ex colleagues and everyone went totally mad! it was super R(A) in the room with people stripping off pants and others dancing on tables. haha. i bet the waiter that served our room was freaked out when one of them pulled him in to sing... haha. i was definitely one of the sane ones... but the tequila + vodka + beer + stout was enough to make me drowsy... nonetheless we had lots of fun! i miss working with them, complaining and whining of how tired i was after camps, joking and laughing over nonsensical stuff :)) its kindof interesting how we can get along so well when everyone appear to come from worlds apart! a divorcee with 2 kids struggling to provide everything for her beloveds, a 20 year old mother of 2 who totally regrets her actions&choices made in the past, a rebellious young 17 year old poly student who is out to defy her parents, a mom that just gave birth 8 weeks ago realises she lost her freedom to marriage, a lady boss who values her career above all, a 22 year old lady who is pitifully waiting for her bf to marry her and me!!! haha. amazing! i am always so fancinated with how people are capable of interacting with others and deriving enjoyment out of it! okaay. i guess its cos we make the effort to understand the story behind each and every one... well well. it was definitely a pleasure to meet them! :))

不知道从什么时候
我脸上灿烂的笑容开始说谎
笑声也不再诚恳
感觉好像带着面具，画上浓妆
想掩盖些什么似的

寂寞和我成了朋友
沉默爱上了我
很快孤独也会跟来吧

天啊
该怎么办才好

baked pumpkin rice :))

2007-11-01T21:01:00.000+08:00

ohhh well thats my lovely baked pumpkin rice. i love cheese so i really enjoyed that top layer of cheddar. mummy thought it was too much cheese though. haha. too bad i ran out of mozzeralla.. if not it would have been better :)) every thursday is my cooking day! haha. shall make it a point to prepare dinner for family every thursday. spent my afternoon in the gym and my kitchen! haha. oh dear.. i am beginning to enjoy the process of cooking and of course baking... haha. it must have something to do with all the foodblogs that i have been reading recently. got some new cheesecake recipes from one of those blogs.. guess i will give it a try next week. i am so excited! haha :))

oh was chatting with jeffrey few days ago and i just realise he is going to australia for studies too! oh man. this is way tooooo cool. i finally found a friend who is going to over next year. he's a paramedic now, going to over to do a 3 year course at some paramedic academy? haha. not very sure about that... he was admitted to the queensland academy and he said he will try to request to change it to the sydney one since i will be in sydney! WOOHHHOOOOO... if the request ever get approved, it will be the best thing that can ever happen to me for the month! haha... oh well. then he will have to give up the house he bought in queensland and get another one in sydney... haha. and he is going to let me have one of his rooms! hahahhahahah yes yes yes! then i can save on my rental... haha. we were discussing about this and said the rest of the rooms shall be rented out to fellow singaporean students that will be there.. haha... okay. i know its a little far-fetched now cos he haven even got a reply from the sydney academy... hahahahhahahhaha. fine. there's nothing wrong with dreaming right... im so very optimistic about this plann! hope it gets through :))

urgh

2007-10-31T12:07:00.000+08:00

WHAT THE . I WROTE DAMN ALOT OF THINGS AND IT JUST DISAPPEARED LIKE THAT!!!

URRRGGGHHH. I AM SO SUPER PISSED....

:((

stay-at-home day

2007-10-25T19:13:00.000+08:00

today was quite a great day. ITS STAY-AT-HOME DAY!! haha. had the luxury of sleeping in till 0930 while everyone else are off to work at 0700 :)) love it when no one wakes me up and let me sleep till i drop! haha.

okay. so i woke up at 0930, then went for a run and did some workouts in the gym. came back at around 1100. was helping grandma out in the kitchen when i decided to be the main chef for dinner today! haha. and my sis happily hopped into the kitchen and demanded for lunch!?! oh. she was still at home at the hour cos her O' level paper was in the afternoon. okkayy so i decided to be a nice sister and cook her lunch. she decided on instant noodles and i thought the usual way of cooking is wayyyyyyyyy too boring for me! so i gave it a twist! haha. pan fried some onions and minced meat. added some water + the soupbase powder that comes with the noodles and allow it to simmer alittle before pouring it over the already cooked noodles. oh i boiled some veggies too. its essential to have a balanced diet! :))

okay this photo is horribly taken! it is definitely not one of my artwork! my sis took it. lousy photography skills... haha

okay. after cooking lunch for the exam candidate, i got down to prepare some stuff that i need to cook for dinner. peeled the corn, washed the vegetables and blablabla... took a bath, grab a slice to marble cake + a cup of milk and started work on the com (shall not elaborate too much about that, nothing interesting..)

wanted to bake some 鸡蛋糕 so that grandma can have something for tea and i can bring to work tmr. HOWEVER, IT WAS A FAILURE! i dont know what went wrong?!! urggghh.. i guess its something not right with the batter.. i guess the eggs were not beaten well... :(( demoralising. but its pretty amusing to see how my 鸡蛋糕 turn out to be 塑胶糕 !!! haha. i didnt take a photo of that piece of rubber that came out from my oven... but its really rubbery. hahahhahhahahhaa. oh my goodness. and it was like greeeeen?!?! oh dear. i am sure i didnt add any colourings...

by the time i finish cleaning up the flour and sugar everywhere in the kitchen, its time to cook dinner! haha. so exciting. i even called my parents to reject all appointments for tonight and return home for dinner! haha. okay. i took photos of what i cooked for dinner :))

pan fried corn and minced meat. love it!

stir fried veggies

salt+pepper baked potatoes!

preserved veg and pork (this is with the help of grandma, of course...)

haha. nothing fanciful, but i love home cooked food :)) healthy and yummy! sis said the potatoes were great! haha. simply addicitive... true enough, she cant stop eatting that! hahahahaa.. okay this is quite a long entry, back to do some work... i still cant figure out why the cake turn greeen..

addiction

2007-10-21T23:22:00.000+08:00

strawberry cheesecake ice cream from bens&jerrys was fantastic! :)) felt so happy after an ice cream treat from me to me! haha. it reminded me of someone too! oh well. thats kindof out of point. this is the second entry of the day and honestly i have no idea what to blog about... i just dont feel like sleeping and decided to type an entry with no theme in mind. haha. oh yah. i am officially declared as an ADDICT! addicted to bread! oh my goooodness. you have no idea how many different kinds of bread i ate for the past week... i have been having them for meals lately. i have no clue either for this sudden addiction to bread?!? they just suddenly popped into my life and TAH DAH... i simply love them. oh no. i need to reduce my carbs intake. this is definitely not a good diet plan man... and fibre intake has been pretty low these days, resulting in poor 'maintenence'... haha. got to stuff myself with more fruits and vegg tmrrr.. :))

another week has past and october is coming to end. time flies. everything seem to zoom past very quickly. good and bad. happy and sad. smiles and frowns. laughter and tears. wonder will we ever forget some of the very important people, things and events of the past. how long can memories last. whats the deadline of forever.

msn fast

2007-10-21T11:42:00.000+08:00

i was and still supposed to be on a msn fast

made a terrible mistake to sign in the other day :(

guess most of my friends/darlings/buddies/good pals received my email regarding a plea for kind donations. haha. and i am very very surprised that THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT REPLIED!?!?! oh my goooodness. my friends are nicceee :)) love them to bits man. i always say that i am blessed with wonderful people around me! haha *must por them abit here* hehe

okay i better get back to work. lots of patients waiting. will update again :))

boredd

2007-10-19T12:31:00.000+08:00

just finished the book winning with people by john c.maxwell. a great book indeed! (its as good as noel made it sounds) haha. trying to read books to get my mind off some problems and worries. i guess its quite useful cos i am definitely feeling much more stable now.. :)) now moving on to the chicken soup for the pets lover soul. its a pretty old book which i found in one of my cabinets when i was packing the room. haha. its been quite some time since i last read it, so shall pick it up again!

changed the template of the blog. looks a little more vibrant huh. chanced upon this blogskin while reading some blogs online and i thought it looks really happy! hahaha. smmmillless :)

i looked into the mirror
and i told myself,
be happy for what you have right now
be thankful for who you have with you
be excited for who you are going to meet
be proud for who you are

update

2007-10-14T18:05:00.000+08:00

was in quite a down mood for the past few days, with some misunderstandings and somethings that i am still trying to accept ad come to terms with. i guess mom was quite sensitive and she picked up some hints that i wasnt being myself. though she attempted to pry open my well sealed mouth and find out what exactly was going on, i decided to stay mummed for the time being. okay thats the usual stubborn me. but mom was very supporting and assured me that no matter what happens, she will be here to share my problems. i am very glad that she understands what i need right now. not naggings and scoldings, not persistant questionings but some personal time and space for me to sort out my thoughts. thanks mom. love you lots.

though things dont seem very optimistic right now, i shall continue smiling. its a curve that can straighten all things out :) learning to face problems with a positive attitude. its a more efficient way to tackle problems than to wallow in self pity and wasting my youth away!

i laugh i joke i play, but that doesnt mean i dont care.

random

2007-10-10T10:05:00.000+08:00

last sunday was sister's burrthday! so i politely declined the offer to work in the evening so that we can all go out for dinner. well.. its her birthday, so she get to decide what to eat. went to our usual japanese restaurant at mirama hotel cos the food is simply too goood :) despite having made reservations 1 week earlier, we still couldnt get our favourite seats! urrgh. so annoying. also we had to finish our dinner by 8pm cos the place is so popular such that they have to split the customers into 2 batches. oh did i mention that they don entertain walk in customers? haha. okkayy then after a satisfying dinner, we went down to great world city for a walk. long time since i last went there. and we met Sun Ho (he yao shan?) and her kid and her maid! haha. she isnt that very pretty in person la. heehee. walked around for an hour plus and dad decided to turn home to eat sister's birthday cake. oh my goodness. he can really eat man. and at this age of his, i have been reminding him to watch his diet carefully to prevent possible chronic conditions next time. but apparently he doesnt give a damn cos he's still eating unhealthy stuff like nobody business! haha.. okaayy. sunday was quite a great day spent with my family. love such random days :)))

原来到最后我也只是你可以利用的工具之一。太可悲了。亏我还以为我们之间有所谓的友情。。。我实在太天真了。我很珍惜每一份友情，更感谢你对我的恩情与教诲。但是到最后，这之不过是我的一相情愿吧了。看着我对我大笑吧，骂我无知也可以。我不在乎。应该感到可悲和可耻的人是你。你失去了我对你的信任，失去了一个对你很诚心的朋友。而我呢，我也不过是去一个不懂得欣赏我的人。。。看来损失惨重的也不是我吧。告诉你，我会继续以真诚的心去对待别人，因为这将使我待人处事的中指。而你如果继续选择以这样的方式对待周围抱着好意的人，将来你一定会后悔的。人与人之间的相处是互相的。我无法认同你的做法，所以我不能留在你的圈圈里。同样的，如果你还是不懂得如何诚心待人，我想我的圈圈也不欢迎你的存在。

life

2007-10-06T16:10:00.000+08:00

At the end of life, there will be a common denominator for us all. Engraved on our tombstones will be a birth date, a dash and a death date. At the beginning of life you have no say. You have no input about your parents, siblings, economic status, neighbourhood, gender, or race. At the end of life, you will not be able to 'buy time' and spotpone the inevitable. Your whole existence, short or long, is represented by the dash. there lies the cumulative effect of the many choices you make each and every day of your life. What will your dash show? Will it show he life of someone who chose to build, to contribute, to create, to lead, to act, to nurture, to think, to enrich, to cooperate, to care and to love in a way that leaves a rich legacy behind? Thd dash is yours, yours alone. Cherish it. Let it burn bright. Remember its source. BEHOLD!

interesting paragraph from the book A is for Attitude by Patricia Russell-McCloud. a very nice way to view life :))

距離

2007-10-04T23:36:00.000+08:00

人与人之间的距离倒底有远？有时我希望和身边的人离得近一些，但似呼再努力也拉不近距离。相反的，有时又会害怕自己和别人走得太近了，会引起误会或尴尬。真是矛盾。倒底有没有所为的最适当距离呢？一公分还是一公尺？如果这也有设定好的标准那该多好。看来我真的有很多东西需要学的。待人处事我不精，将心比心我还在学。。。看来是时候长大了吧。

如果我的人生是一个圆圈，我希望你能一直留在圈圈里。我已不经意让太多人走出我的圈圈。我真的后悔及了。
亲爱的朋友，你会留下对吧？
我的圈圈只有一米宽，那我们的距里应该不会太远吧？

brownniee cheeesecake!

2007-10-03T23:47:00.001+08:00

haha. finally get to bake my brownniee cheeesecake! it taste great :)) at least everyone that tried said so... haha

had some brownie batter left after the baking the cheesecake so decided to add some walnuts and bake some simple brownie. but something seems to be wrong with it. it didnt turn out how i wanted it to be :(( nvm. will give it a second try next time. buttt the brownnie cheesecake is definitely thumbss up!! haha. 2 thumbss up!

this week has been pretty good so far. monday was a fantastic day spent at sentosa. tuesday was fabulous too! went shopping with huiwen at vivo city. though it was only a short shopping trip of around 3 hrs.. we managed to get some tee shirts and stuff. oh and huiwen got me nice pair of white button earrings! haha. mentioned it to her the other day and da-dah.. she got it for me! muacks muacks. love her lotss. and today was pretty enjoyable too. cos i finally get to spent some time in the kitchen baking for people i love! :))

i thought.

2007-09-29T23:39:00.000+08:00

life been pretty bad recently. and my mood hasnt been quite good either. its like i constantly feel irritated and restless. arghhh. this is not pms! well.. i guess things will be fine soon. everything seem to have quieten down. the matter is kindof over and i hope to get over it as soon as possible. i need to move on. gotta thank noel for being with me all these times when i felt uncertain and upset. i really feel much better after talking and listening to him. he's really my idol for now man! serious. i look up to him as a role model. i love the way he look at matters, the way he handles situations, the way he speaks to patients, the way he communicate with his co-workers, the way he view life...and etc etc. its really admirable :) haha. gotta learn from him man. and he really changed me quite a bit after numerous sessions of thoughts sharing and outings :)) im still quite surprised by the fact that we actually click so well so quickly! haha. i still remembered the first time when we work together and how he initiated a conversation with me. i thought this guy really knows me and he tries to understand me sincerely. i haven got someone that is so willing and keen to listen and understand me before. and we actually have an age gap of 8 years! oh my goodness. i was in primary 6 when he was in university!!! hahahahahha. thats so amazzingg! i am super uber lucky to meet such a great mentor.

its the end of september. another month has passed. and i am a little closer to my new phase of life. i am looking forward to it. honestly, i do hope to leave singapore for a change. its not that i dont enjoy the life or the company of family and friends i have here. but i am curious how i will do out there alone in a foreign land.. how life is going to be like in a new environment.. perhaps only then will i realise how great it is to be at home. (i am very satisfied with what i have now and i know i need to cherish them hard :))

late night kbox session with climbing club (huiwen, jooli and jingsheng) on thursday was fantastic! haha. love them to bits and pieces! watching taiwan drama serials with them is really amusing and entertaining :) its so funny to see how each of us react differently to a particular scene and how we critisize almost everything of the characters. hahahaha.

okay. its late and i gotta sleep. haven been sleeping well for nights and i should try to take a good rest tonight.

screwedd upp

2007-09-23T22:13:00.000+08:00

this few days have been quite a torture :(( getting a true taste of what the real working society is like. its okay its alright. i learnt my lesson and i am not going to repeat it again. and as if one blow is not enough, i got into another trouble with noel the other day. uuurggh. i should just go and die. really screwwedd upp. whats wrong with me?!?! pretty angry with myself now. filled with remorse and guilt. i need to learn how to handle my emotions better.

是我的无知伤害了你
再多的道歉也显得很虚伪
宁愿你生气的大声骂我
也不想你沉浸在失望与沉默当中
朋友，请你原谅我

carrot cakes :)

2007-09-11T23:16:00.000+08:00

haha. made carrot cake with lemon cheese frosting today! hmm. i donno if they taste good cos i have no idea what a carrot cake is supposed to taste like! haha..

past and the future

2007-09-02T23:56:00.001+08:00

by the time you say the word 'future', it already belongs to the past

its the beginning of a new month. its september already! :)) to think i have left school for more than 8 months yet i still feel like a student! haha. time really flies.

had quite an interesting encounter 2 days ago in the clinic. haha. a super duper memorable one! i guess noel and i were really traumatised by it. okay, maybe its me only cos he is always able to pass things off calm and cool. it was a rather quiet night at west coast and he started having alot of fun chatting with chaorong and guanyin on msn using my account! oh my goooodness. he was simply talking nonsense yet he was so high about it! hhaaa. amuuusing :)

went for lunch and shopping with mama and sis yesterday at bugis. it was quite rewarding. we all managed to get what we intended to buy. (and of course buying stuffs that were not on the shopping list! haha) lunch at crystal jade was fine, not exactly that goood. wanted to take photos of the food and ourselves... but my dear camera went dead cos i forgot to charge the battery! argh. how dumb can i get. haha. its been nearly a month since i had a good meal with my mama. for 3 consecutive weekends she has been stuck at the neverending travel exhibitions at suntec! poor mama. oh and she commented that me and sis are looking more and more alike! haha. thats not a gooood news huh...

pam left this morning for canada. hope she has a safe journey! quite a pity that i cant send her off at the airport. but considering that i met her at ntu the other day and we managed to have a small chat, i think i wasnt being too mean! haha. hope to see her soon. maybe someday i can go canada for a holiday or she can go australia to look for me! few weeks more and more people will be leaving for uk. its time. time that we step out of our comfort zone and venture overseas. time that we pursue our passions and live our dreams.

spare me a sunglass to look ahead
cos my future is too bright :))

simple layout

2007-08-30T00:30:00.000+08:00

okay. change my blog layout to one of those provided by blogger simply because its so difficult to maintain a complicated one! haha. its like i want to change something but i have no idea where to start *staring blankly at the html codes for hours* i guess this simple template will be easier for me to handle! :)) okay. gotta get to bed cos its late! need to go for a run tmr morning cos I PUT ON WEIGHT due to the regular feedings by darlings like grandma and bro and besties!! oh man. thats the last thing i ever want to happen... haha

loves to bake!

2007-08-28T18:48:00.000+08:00

my horlicks doggie cookies! oh man. they look damn cute :)) haha. spend around 3 hours making hundred of them. trying out new recipes that i found online recently. they taste quite good! i dont really enjoy eating cookies. pure love for baking alone. hehe

oh this is my beloved sexy timer?! haha. its super adorable :)))

oh. made these portuguese egg tarts last week! not bad. but will be better if i remove them from the oven a few minutes earlier. the cost of making egg tart is really lowwww! only around $3 plus for 10 egg tarts.

ookie. got to run. meeeting chaorong and huiwen for prata. oh man. cant wait to stuff myself with pratas! *i will try to remember that i am still on a diet...*

2007-08-15T19:03:00.000+08:00

kindof inspired to write an entry today. i was working in the clinic in the afternoon when a postman entered with a registered mail. initially we thought it was a fine for our doc (cos sometimes he speeds).. but it turned out to be a letter from SMA! (singapore medical assiociation). okay. to receive a letter from SMA out of a sudden is not exactly a thing to be happy about. and true enough, it was regarding a complain from one of our patients. apparently he is rather unhappy and unsatisfied with our doc, claiming that he wasn't professional and stuff. i shall not go into the details of what he wrote in the letter but seriously, those accusations were nonsense and they dont make sense at all. obviously i am going to stand on the doctor's side cos i think the patient is purely being ridiculous. the letter was so exaggerating! i am sure doc is not going to get into any trouble cos i believe that SMA is not blind and they will know whats true and whats not.

while i was reading the letter (doc passed it to us to read), he asked "so you sure you still want to be a doctor?" argh. i have to admit this incident is quite a shock for me. never did i knew that singaporeans can be so ridiculous and unreasonable. indeed, it is difficult to be a doctor and i swear it is much harder to be one in singapore. the younger generation that had higher levels of education are the ones that are demanding more from the healthcare workers. they read something from somewhere and they think they are very knowledgeable, attempting to challenge the doctors/nurses in their advices and diagnosis. HELLO?!?! obviously doctors dont study so many years for nothing right? i think we all need to show more respect for others (i am not only referring to doctors, i think we should respect others for their professionalism)

okay i think my doc deserves better patients and definitely more respect from them. i hope he is feeling alright now. it can be quite sad when your efforts are not appreciated and people turn their backs against you suddenly.

while there are some doctors that are respectable, there are some that i feel are not putting enough effort into what they are doing. okay i promise i am not going to be like them. haha. i shall learn from their mistakes and not make this errors in future :)

i just feel very angry for my doc. i seriously he think he dont need to suffer like this. lets hope everyone can be more reasonable and learn to honour the greatness and talent in others.

2007-08-10T14:45:00.001+08:00

while most if not all of my friends are busy with orientation week and all sorts of camps that dont seem to end, i have been working very hard, trying to convince myself that its okay to be out of the standard system that all my friends are in. life has been quite fine for me so far, except that universities activities are stealing my friends away from me!!! haha. its okay... we are connected by our hearts, mind and soul. hahaha.

this few months will be a good time for me to set new goals, steer myself in the right direction and perhaps reassess my values, principles and judgements. suddenly i just end up thinking if i will regret my decision now(which is to be a doctor), maybe 10 years later? will i ever end up hating this profession and detest myself for not heeding my dad's advice (to take up business)? to be honest, i am looking forward to school, which is starting in few months time, because of two main reasons. one, i get to start a new phase of life in a new place.. it feels kind of like rebirth? where everything start from zero again... and the other reason is definitely because i am reading a course that i am very very interested in! but is the passion going to last me for 6 years, 10 years, and even a lifetime? i have no idea. its a dream that i have been pursuing and i hope to live it well. but what is going to happen after i achieve my goal? its like we always hope for dreams to come true.. but did we ever consider what is it going to be like after dreams REALLY come true? i mean do we have to come up with new dreams or we can then lead a life aimlessly ever after.. haha. life is going to plain and bland if we have got no aims and aspirations... so lesson is to never stop dreaming! :)

like what chaorong said (he requested his name to be mentioned), doctor is a profession that can allow you to lead a comfortable life but its not going to make you rich. i absolutely agree with his statement (for the first time). but its okay cos my main purpose in life is not to make big bucks! haha. this profession looks glamourous and everyone will go ''oh woah..." when you happen to tell them that you are a doctor... thats when they will start to look at you differently, speak to you politely and expect you to fulfil a certain ideal image they have in their minds. but does how i look, talk and present myself determine if i make a good doctor? haha. obviously not. but sadly image counts and definitely make a big difference... at least in singapore. okay, i am trying to visualise myself in 6 years time, after i graduate from medical school... i really wonder what will i be like? but visualisations can be quite inaccurate... so i give up. what is the kind of doctor that i want to be next time? what is the impression that i want to leave on my co-workers, patients and even strangers? its a choice. my choice to be exact. but that will probably take me a few more years to decide.

frankly, its really naive for people to think that being a doctor is an easy task. especially when people go "doctor ah. make alot of money one lor, see patient for 5 minutes then write a few things and earn 30bucks already" or "wah this clinic is many people ah, doctor sure make tonnes of money one, rich like siao" haha. please la. life is more than just MONEY. haha. you are paying for the consultation, the medication and the responsibility that the doctor have to bear if anything goes wrong. its like when a clerk makes a typo error in a document, she will only get niao-ed by her boss and have to redo the assignment again. but can you imagine what happens when a doctor make a wrong diagnosis, or even wrong prescription? i really hope that will never happen to me! hahaha. okay i thinking too far! but seriously, its a super duper big thing can? there are just so many dilemmas that a doctor will have to face and i am not sure if i am ready for it. like how to attain a win-win situation for the doctor and the patient, how to keep balance your life with work and family, how to stick to your stand and principles, when to say 'i want to...' and 'i have to...'? haha. i have so many questions in mind! but i guess i will be one to have the best answer for them...

i have to admit i am changing.. changing all the time. (i mean who doesnt?) and i dont think there's anything wrong with changing as long as i am changing for the better. okay. then you will ask how do i define better... haha. but thats beside the point! so perhaps one day i will find this whole entry a crap... haha. but for the time being, this are some things that has been on my mind... there is no room for love (bgr kind) right now. but considering the fact that i change alot.. maybe it will be different next week. hahhahaha. just joking! im not so fickle-minded okay! :) i am reading alot now. trying to get my brain cells to start working actively again. haha. i guess its time that i acquire some skills that will come in handy when i start working next time. i love self-help books. they are really really interesting! afterall, i think being a doctor is not about regurgitating everything that you have learnt in medical school to your patient in that short consultation of about 5-10 minutes. its how you apply what you have learnt and get your message across effectively and efficiently. how you bring yourself to the level of the patient and communicate with them, understand what their concerns and win their trust. hmm.. okay i am inspired by the doctors around me cos i definitely feel that they are doing a very good job! :)

so.. aims/goals for the time being...

graduate from medical school within 6 years.. lets hope i dont get retained and i will try to work hard so i can complete it earlier? haha

work in the hospital for another 15 years? preferably in O&G... if not paediatrics is great too!

after i earn enough money for me and my family to live the rest of our lives comfortably, i want to join the WHO in their overseas projects in 3rd world countries...

of course during the process of all these, i hope to find a good man, get married and have kids :) haha

hmm. all these are tender to change by adeline without prior notification. who knows whats going to happen tomorrow? :)

2007-08-05T23:05:00.000+08:00

im quite tired to repeat all that happen today cos i have just recounted every single detail to my parents in the car while on our way home. however, i really have to say that its been a pretty eventful day for me! alot of things is running through my mind right now and i cant really seem to be able to get them organised. like one question that noel posted to me this afternoon "so, do you still want to be a doctor?" its a simple question with the simplest answer (yes or no). but somehow it takes the hardest effort to decide. haha. love the way noel thinks, speaks and how he carry himself in front of his co-workers and patients. its a talent definitely! and i hope to have at least half that kind of flair. healthcare is definitely going to be a tough path to take and im beginning to wonder if i am up to it. haha don worry, i am not underestimating myself! but it seems like its going to be tougher than what i am expecting... nonetheless i am still confident of my future (to be exact, i dont really know what it is going to be like!) so for the time being, shall build up my interpersonal and communication skills. and get more self help books to enrich my already degenerating brain cells! haha. learning don end with school, it has just begun

who you are determines what you see

who you are determines how you see

who you are determines how you view life

who you are determines what you do

2007-07-28T23:53:00.000+08:00

hmm. been quite busy lately. alot of things happened after the previous post and i guess i need some time to get everything settled down. everyone's getting ready for uni while there's still a few months before i get back to school. has been quite busy handling administration and fee stuff, looking for flatmates and buddies. hmm. there's more to come, much more to worry. oh. did i mention that i got a macbook? haha. love it to bits. but i need time to master this new gadget. haha. im quite a IT idiot. okay. so far so good. hope to take a few days leave and crash the uni orientation week... donno if its possible but it should be fun if i manage to sneak in :))

though its the end of the journey.

im smiling as i look back

i hope u do too.

2007-07-11T18:04:00.000+08:00

feel like being pushed to the edge of the cliff again. i feel so trapped and confused. everything seems to be in a mess. i donno what i can do and what is ahead of me. perhaps everything is predestined and theres no way i can change it. no matter how hard i work. fear is taking over my mind again. i cant think, cant see, cant breathe. give me one chance. please.

2007-06-25T00:21:00.000+08:00

oh man. its been like donkey years since i last updated. haha. life hasn't been that good so far. but i am still hanging in there :) still quite a lost sheep right now as in i really got no idea where to go, what to do or what is going to happen. so please dont attempt to ask me for my plans in the near future cos i really have no idea! and i feel kindof stress when people probe about too many things? i donno why am i feeling this way. i do know that they meant well... but its like i prefer them to leave me alone with such stuffs. haha. oh no. of course i am not referring to my darlings (i mean my wonderful friends and buddies that are so so concerned about me:)))))))) its almost the end of june and uni life is nearing... haha. but it doesnt seem to affect me quite alot. i wonder is it i dont care or i am already out of that system? hahaa. who cares. i am still heading where i want to!

clinic life right now is great! though i work really hard everyday. when i say everyday. i mean EVERYDAY! haha. doctors i met are fun people to mix with! ;) found a cool brother doc and my resident aka permanent ah pek doctor boss is great too! oh no. he wont be able to see this huh. learnt about alot of new things and saw lots of happenings in the clinic! a real eye-opener indeed. really gotta thank my clinic coordinator and the doctors! they are really really nice people.

sometimes i wonder if i am running some kind of bad luck and ponder when will it ever run out. but looking how i am blessed with fabulous people around me, i am not that unfortunate afterall. i should just be contented for what i have right now! perhaps somethings are just meant to be. perhaps..

2007-04-03T01:48:00.000+08:00

Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams.

Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential.

Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do

i nearly forgot how to joke and smile. got through the few days and im glad that im still standing strong. guess i have been giving myself too much pressure and perhaps expecting too much from myself as well. hmm. i dont have to be the best. but im just going to do my best. people around me are so worried. hmm. my goal is still there and im still working towards it though now it means taking a longer and tougher path. sometimes i really feel that perhaps i must have done a whole lot of good deeds in my last life that i am blessed with such wonderful parents and friends. its their support that keeps me going. thank you so much. i will put on a smile and move on :)

2007-03-30T16:16:00.000+08:00

seems like dreams will remain as dreams. reality is always so cruel. im back to the starting point again. i dont dare to bear any more hopes for anything else right now. yes, i know things happen for a reason and what is done cannot be changed. but somehow i just dont wish to accept this fact. or perhaps i should put it this way, i was already overestimating my abilities right from the start.

i tried. and i fell. then i stood up and move on, believing that my last hope can come true. in the end, i fell even harder. and this time it feel so real. i got myself landed in utter disappointment. so sorry. to those that believed in me. i have let you guys down again. dont tell me its okay, its not the end, or there is still chance. cos you know those are nothing but excuses to make me feel better. i want to deal with this disappointment. i want to get over it. but seems like 3 days were not enough.

2007-02-28T23:08:00.000+08:00

haven been updating this blog for quite some time. hmm. life is fine now. not exactly fantastic but at least i am happy :) getting back A levels results this fri. it will kind of determine alot of things. not everything though. lets hope that i will make it up to my expectations. i have been falling short of them recently. there are still things that i worry and fear. nevermind. i am just going to love this very moment.

will be off to malaysia next week! fantastic. love conducting camps there. haha. a good time for me to think and sort out my thoughts. and cos i am doing it with my buddy trainers. haha. so glad that we can do camps together. bet it will be crazy! :)

2007-02-02T00:36:00.000+08:00

okay. i am back from london. the place is nice. i love it alot! but the interview was kindof bad. nevermind. things dont seem very promising right now, but i am still hopeful. i am not going to give up. not yet. waiting for their reply and my A levels result!! thats more important i guess. bought dozens of donuts back with me. hey. they took twenty over hours of flight with me from london to dubai to brunei to singapore! okay. maybe i shall upload the photos next time. time to sleep

2007-01-25T11:19:00.000+08:00

2007 has been great so far. busy with my never ending camps and weekend part time. but life has been statisfying at least :) i guess i am ready to move on to the next stage of my life. leaving for london on sat for my interview. lets hope i don screw it up. let me get a place in that school so that i can get a scholarship so that my dream can come true! i will do my best and i am not going to give up till the end. the feeling is kindof weird though. i am looking forward to it cos its like such a great chance yet i am afraid to know the results (especially if i don make it). haha. thank you dad and mum for being so proud and supportive of me. i guess this trip is going to cost quite a bit. thank you jiaxing for always knowing what i want. thank you all my friends that wish the best for me :) i know i am not alone.

2006-12-30T11:02:00.000+08:00

hmm. life is so different after As. i kindof enjoyed it initially but i am missing school now! haha. and my friends. its like we dont get to see each other that often? okay thats obviously the case.. but i seriously hope we wont drift apart!

2007 is just 2 days away. new plans new hopes. i am just trying hard to stay focused and look forward. i donno why. but somehow i feel that my future is so bleak. its like I AM LOSING MY WAY! no doubt i will treasure whatever i have now and all that i have and meet on my way.

i am so glad to have you by my side :)

2006-12-17T12:07:00.000+08:00

argh. what a disappointment. apparently one of my applications failed :( nevermind. i gotta be optimistic and smile :) two more chances!! its their loss for not accepting me lo. haha. i am not sad. just a little disappointed.

hmm. will be off for my training camp tmr. five days away from the city :) maybe it will be a good time for me to cheer myself up and perhaps make new plans? haha. i guess this is life. we cant get everything that we wished for.

not sad. just a little disappointed.

2006-12-14T14:17:00.000+08:00

:) i have so much to say yet i have no idea how to start. eh. 2c chalet was fine. with the usual people and doing the usual stuff. i am so so glad that old friends can stay in contact for so long! and i hope it will go on and on. my life is going to change alittle after i made a simple but significant decision. lets hope it will be different this time round :)

oh. i didnt talk about prom huh. haha. it was quite fun la. we kept taking photos and the food was fine. hotel stay was funny. we did crazy stuff that i dont think i will do it again with others. haha. kind of glad that i found this bunch of friends that i can play with!

christmas is coming! but i am really broke to buy any presents! and i have alot of things that i want to buy! hahaha. i am trying to cut expenses already lo. hmm. but it doesnt seem very effective. haha. okay. shall update next time. hope everyone is doing fine :)

2006-11-27T22:54:00.000+08:00

finally its my turn to blog about the end of my A levels! haha :) great experience indeed. but considering the fact that i end ten days later than others, i think i did a fine job trying to stay focused for the last week. okay. down with another major examination and lets hope i will do my parents and myself proud. dont have to be the top but give me what i deserve. and pray hard that my dream university will accept my application!!! oh please. give me a chance. oh and let me win enough money in a lottery for my overseas studies. haha. okay santa. these are my christmas wishes :D

:)

2006-10-25T22:28:00.000+08:00

one month since i last updated. indeed, so many things happened within this month. but who cares. its over anyway. one more week to the start of As and one more month to the end of it. great! oh. and today is a great day too :) thank you so much.

my choice. my actions. my life.

if ever i have a chance to make a choice again,

it will be you.

2006-09-23T20:31:00.000+08:00

prelims finally ended. i guess i've done my best and now i can only hope for the best. thank you so much to those that tagged. i haven give up. and i dont intend to. but sometimes i cant help but wonder if it is too selfish of me to pursue my dream so stubbornly. of course, i am glad that my family is so supportive of me. i've already spent nearly thousand dollars applying for schools and registering for tests. i really hope i am not wasting my parents money. so i guess i will do what i have to do. and i know i have the support of everyone that loves me :)

insecured.

2006-09-20T21:01:00.000+08:00

its been more than 2 weeks since i last updated. prelims is ending. which is supposed to be something to be happy about. i guess some words set me thinking again. (haha like when can i ever stop thinking so much). i hope i am not holding my expectations too high. maybe its really impossible. but please dont tell me to give up. all i need is someone to believe in me. trust me that i will do my best. my dreams will come true. i am not building sandcastles in the air. tell me i am not. i dont know where i am heading. seriously. everything seem so difficult. my future? what is it like. i have no idea. perhaps i can make things easier and choose a less tough path to go. but thats not what i want. i dont want to regret it 10 years down the road. at the same time, i am afraid that i will be disappointed in the end. and i know by then i would have no idea as to what else i can do. give me a chance. its just a small dream. dont ask me to give up, please.

dont try to put me down. it will only make me stronger. and i mean it.

2006-09-02T22:54:00.000+08:00

对不起
不知为什么
我跨跃了自己画下的那条线
不会有下次了

lets hope that time will pass really quickily. how i wish i can take prelims now! get it over and done with. hmm. 3 more weeks before i take a short break. i dont want to disappoint anyone.

i wasnt myself yesterday. whats wrong

2006-08-26T23:17:00.000+08:00

maybe this is the way. the way to forget the fact that i am not happy. getting myself occupied. i don wish to put on a fake smile anymore. tell me what to do. how to tell you i am okay and not to worry when i am so afraid. how to joke and play around with you when i just feel like hiding up. how to stay confident and positive when i have lost my directions. perhaps i need a compass. get me back to the path i was on. i want to get back on track.

2006-08-25T22:54:00.000+08:00

我内心的恐惧
我真的很害怕
告诉我该怎么办
有很多话想说
面对着现实
我也只能用眼泪诉苦
我累了
装着若无其事的样子真的很累
我不想让期望成为失望
更不想一切落空
心中的害怕
该怎么办
好想放弃
不可以。绝对不可以

2006-08-12T23:11:00.000+08:00

我们到底要到什么时候才不用带着面具见人?
什么时候才不须用谎言来掩盖心中的空虚和彷徨?
我快喘不过气来了
要如何让泪水倒流
好多想说的话要和谁说?
让我快回到现实来吧
我不想和寂寞做朋友。

let it be another night alone.

2006-08-08T22:59:00.000+08:00

hmm. life has been quite busy. gotta prepare for prelims and our cip project! haha. finally the tshirts are out. thats great! :) actually i dont really have much things to blog about you see. glad that everyone's problems are settled. and i am not so bothered too. i always feel so screwed up when people around me got problems. hmm.. weird. eh. missing my old friends. its been like so long since i last met up with them! gosh. especially my buddy la. hahaa. pangseh him so many times already leh. haha. and my ex class. and council people! hmm. i better learn to treasure people around me.

When I was young

I never needed anyone

And making love was just for fun

Those days are gone

Livin' alone

I think of all the friends I've known

When I dial the telephone

Nobody's home

All by myself

Don't wanna be

All by myself

Anymore

Hard to be sure

Sometimes I feel so insecure

And loves so distant and obscure

Remains the cure

All by myself

Don't wanna be

All by myself

Anymore

All by myself

Don't wanna live

All by myself

Anymore

Don't wanna live

I never, never, never

Needed anyone

maybe that is what i am feeling right now

all by myself.

2006-07-22T00:31:00.000+08:00

guess waad! i am so motivated to study hard for prelims and As now. okay. i am going to work very hard towards my goals and i am not going to let myself down. i want people to be proud of me! block test II will be the LAST exam i am going to screw up. and today will be the last day of slacking. its time for me to gain my momentum and start working hard :) 4 more months and it will be over. i just want to do well enough to get into the university i want and i will make sure i get in with the best results i can give. hrmph. i am going to impress people with such wonderful grades that they have to kneel down and bai4 me. haha :D okay. i will do it. don laugh at me huh.

this is promise to myself. i don wish to be angry with myself when i receive my results.

2006-07-14T23:00:00.000+08:00

this is a super nice song!! love it man.

ALL ABOUT YOU :)
It's all about you (it's all about you)
It's all about you baby
It's all about you (it's all about you)
It's all about you

Yesterday you asked me something I thought you knew
So I told you with a smile, it's all about you
Then you whispered in my ear and you told me too
Said you make my life worthwhile, it's all about you

And I would answer all your wishes
If you ask me to
But if you deny me one of your kisses
Don't know what I'd do
So hold me close and say three words like you used to do
Dancing on the kitchen tiles, it's all about you, yeah!

And I would answer all your wishes
If you ask me to
But if you deny me one of your kisses
Don't know what I'd do
So hold me close and say three words like you used to do
Dancing on the kitchen tiles
Yes you make my life worthwhile
So I told you with a smile
It's all about (you)
It's all about you (it's all about you)
It's all about you baby(repeat until end)

life's been quite fine. trying hard to be high in school so that time will pass quickly :) haha. sakae outing with juli and chaorong was fun! haha. ate like no one's business. they can really eat la. oh my gosh. haha. obviously i ate the least. but its still alot k. haha. i love weekends now. haha. a great time to do what i enjoy! chatting session with climbing club excluding jingsheng was great. haha. we can really spend hours and hours at bk talking and talking lo. now you ask me what did we talk about? haha. i forgotten most of it la. it was super random! :)

2006-06-29T20:27:00.000+08:00

blocks over! :) haha. thats something to be happy about. finally its over!

read jas blog and i am kindof missing rv! oh my gosh. i never thought i will feel so much for a school. definitely thats not what i expected when i entered rv. haha. time really flies. sometimes i just cant help but compare people and things with what its like in rv. i am seriously very sorry to those people when i expected you to be what i thought. thats being unfair to people huh. good times dont last. but i will choose to keep those memories. i am afraid to boast or brag about it. somehow i feel that whatever i am blessed with will be taken away from me if i ever do so. hmm. so lets just be contented with what we have. its not that bad anyway :) argh. i want to return to rv la. haha. how can i make myself grow younger so that i can attend secondary school again?!? thats too random. haha :)

before you ever leave me

please let me know

i dont wish to be left behind

no abandon. not me

2006-06-17T20:31:00.000+08:00

不知道问题出在哪里
是我的倔强还是我的想法
可以跟随你们
但抱歉，
实在无法认同。
不要用你的标准来衡量我
更不要要求我改变
请接受我们的不同
或许那比较合理
终于明白为什么我们只能停留在这里
可能我们应该试着坦诚相对
加上多一些体谅于了解。

原来我们只不过如此而已

放心。我没有想过放弃
这份友谊绝对值得我去尝试

2006-06-12T15:22:00.000+08:00

hmm. attended a wedding last weekend and it was great! haha. quite high class la. and the food was quite nice too :) took alot of photos with my family and its more like my wedding la. haha. cos we were too bored la!

haha. me and my pretty mum :)

thats the handsome old man of my family :)

my cousin! she's older than me by 2 weeks

2006-06-07T21:52:00.000+08:00

这条路我走得好累
陪我停下来好吗

unpredictable.

2006-05-30T18:30:00.000+08:00

在面对爱情
没有人可以不自私
更没有人可以保持理智
有时我真的好想从现实中消失
想失去所谓的实际做法
天真。
或许我暂时还没有勇气面对它
爱情似乎和我没有什么缘分
并不可望些什么
相信是我的，终究会到来

现在有你，我已经很满足

2006-05-22T18:08:00.000+08:00

today is

her birthday!

so......

we came together to celebrate for her :)

while waiting for the food to be served, we were bored. haha. and

they were too!

oh and before leaving,

we thought the pretty girls should take a photo! haha

heyhey

2006-05-21T10:37:00.000+08:00

haha. attended the young leaders conference yesterday! haha. it was quite okay la. some speakers were quite good but most of the time i was self entertaining :) oh and something really sad happened yesterday. we went out for lunch at expo hall 3 and there were just so many students around la. then there's this boy that bought a plate of rice, placed it on the table and went back to the foodcourt to get a drink. eh. did i mention that we are sitting outside the foodcourt. so its like outdoor la. then when he left his table, one flock of birds came over and started feeding on his food! oh my gosh. it was like so scary la. they finished half the plate of rice within few minutes?!? then the boy came back and he was so sad! :( he was alone in the first place. he then sat down in front of the half eaten plate of rice looking very sad! oh my gosh. i was like what the hell. when the birds were there, none of the people sitting beside his table bothered to stand up and chase them away? i was rather ashamed that i didnt ran up to shoo the birds off too. but when i decided to stand up and offer him some money to get another plate of rice, someone from another table gave him money too! at least i feel so warmth there. people are just so selfish at times la. come on. lets learn to give and share! i feel i am richer by 5 bucks now not because i managed to save the money that i wanted to give him initially, but i know my ai xin definitely worth more than that!

oops. i better get going. late for movie le. oh. happy birthday grandma! love ya lots :)

2006-05-17T19:29:00.000+08:00

勉强会有幸福吗
有时我们因该学会放手吧
对，坚持自己的信念没有错
但是盲目的自己
开始在所谓的爱情中迷了路
或许你因该停下来看看
自己到底在追求些什么
周围的人都为你担心
害怕你无法看清你口中爱情的真理
希望你明白不管你做什么决定
我们都会真心的祝福你
只是想在你还没陷得太深之前
给你诚恳的意见
我是局外人
对很多细节也可能不太了解
但请你相信我
这样走下去
受伤的人只会是你一个
寂寞并不可怕
最可怕的是失去自己
你可以选择快乐
真的，所以请不要放弃这个选择
世上没有人会因为任何人而无法生存
记注，你并不孤单.

2006-05-14T10:56:00.000+08:00

我还在寻找我自己的空间
似乎我不属于你们的世界
尝试掩盖自己的不快
但始终无法改变些什么
是我努力得不够多
还是我们真的没有缘分
我想，是时候退出了吧

2006-05-13T21:46:00.000+08:00

hey! mock bike hike was great :) haha. i love bike hike ics. i really think we did a great job cos we didnt screw it up. though there were some hiccups here and there. but i think our route is super cool la! i was so so scared that i will forget my route lo. luckily nothing happened! i didnt manage to take any photos for the mock bike hike but here are some photos of the three wonderful and excellent bike hike ics during our own recce!

thats alice!

haha. mark sneaked up on me! :)

mark is so zi lian la!

three of us! with mark occupying more than half the space...

2006-05-06T21:57:00.000+08:00

i am so happy today! :) i have no idea why. haha. maybe its huiwen. maybe its you. or maybe its just myself! haha. eh. you know what. i found something really cool~

this is me and doggy 10 years ago...

haha. here's us after 10 years!

haha. i love this la! i miss doggy! :) haha. i spent more than 10 years together. can you imagine? haha. i bet you and your best friend may not even be able to last this long like us. especially when you two are separated :( argh. i am so so glad that i have her. i really miss you. i am so scared that she wont be around when i return to hk in december. so afraid to pick up calls from godma cos i just don want to know that she left without me. please let her stay healthy. so that i can spend that little more time with her. i know that day will come sooner or later. but i just hope to be with her till the last moment. i really hope so.

she's always the one to make me smile

and no one else can do it as well..

bike hike recce 2

2006-05-01T18:56:00.000+08:00

haha. today was a great day! bike hike recce was damn fun :) haha. completed 68km in mere 8 hours! haha. which includes our slacking, lunch time, and getting lost. haha. kinda pia-ed alot leh. thank you mark and alice! they had to slow down near the end coz of me. my whole back and thighs was damn pain la. like people use needle prick like that. haha. maybe someone is casting a curse on me! hehe :D i am so random. i have alot of scratches and blue blacks now. argh.

2006-04-30T22:19:00.000+08:00

thanks alot. glad to know that there are people that still cares :)

eh. getting real sick of jc and i cant wait to take my As and continue with life. this is so so sickening la. nevermind. i shall endure :) oh. having second thoughts of whether i should go for medicine. haha. actually business and management is not too bad a choice. how how? i need to find an aim real soon before i lose track of myself again. oh. i love random talking with huiwen. it feels great! kinda learned more about her and myself that day. huiwen! we will stick to each other for the whole day for atlantis. haha. so please dont get sick of me so soon ah. okay. i am going to sleep. tmr going for bike hike recce. haha exciting!

2006-04-26T21:14:00.000+08:00

maybe we should all learn how to appreciate what people have done for us.
and not take others for granted.
that includes you.
dont take me for granted too.

2006-04-25T18:49:00.000+08:00

hmm. this week is kind of busy and confusing. haha. just hope that it will pass quickly!! haha. it will be better next week :) oh. kind of screwed up my chem spa. argh. nvm la. i knew i was too distracted recently. need to get back on track soon! just have to work harder for my actual paper ! haha. i broke a new record today. i talked to no more than 5 people since the start of the day till 12.30pm! haha. i am not dao huh. i am just demure and quiet :) haha. i know it doesnt sound convincing. but nvm. 2.4km napfa yesterday was quite okay though it wasnt my pb. but aiyah. i did my best la. so i am contended. juli was super fast lo. maybe she ate steriods. haha. i am just being random here!

oh yah. dragonboating last sunday was quite fun. i love rocking the dragonboat. haha. hope to go there often! :) i miss paddling too. i just love the waters. oh yl night was quite nice. though the food was so-so. took alot of photos too! shall upload them when i get them from the others. hehe. love your life.

it takes no time to fall in love

but it takes years to know love

bike hike recce

2006-04-19T22:39:00.000+08:00

haha! today is such an exciting day! bike hike recce with my fellow bike hike ics (alice and mark) was damn fun lo. haha. three of us were damn high along the way :) made our way down to east coast park after school. and along the way at city hall, we ate ice-cream. haha. all because of mark! haha. ah pek ice cream is nice! haha. then our recce started at ecp. we were making super alot of noise along the way la. haha. and we jay-cycle alot of times! and i am always the suay one coz a car always come when i am crossing la! super paiseh coz the driver will just stare at u! :X haha. journey to national stadium, esplanade and boat quay was super fun! haha. and we came up with a kind of stupid head count cheer. haha. ask me and i will teach u. haha :) oh. and u know what. mark ate another ah pek ice cream at esplanade la! haha. he keeps eating lo. and we discussed for very long about what to eat after recce la. but in the end we were so hungry that we decided to just settle for macdonalds at ecp. haha. i feel so accomplished today! looking forward to the future recces! haha. and we broke alot of rules today lo. like cycling against the flow of the traffic on the road, cycling on the over head bridges and underpass where they said NO RIDING. FINE $1000. haha. then mark was like "oh. i have $1000 la" haha. damn funny lo! oh yah. we carried our bikes up the overhead bridge too! hehe. quite fun! oh shit. will the juniors be reading this? i hope not. they donno about my blog i hope. haha :)